Connecting with support systems to help you cope with stress

Jeff, they/he, 23, NJ

There’s a lot you can do on your own to explore and affirm your identity, but you also shouldn’t have to do it alone. For LGBTQ+ people, seeking support from affirming friends, community and institutions is vital. Sometimes, it can be hard to identify where those affirming places or people are.

Here are some options for ways to seek support as you explore your identity:

Talk to a friend who affirms your LGBTQ+ identity

Confiding in a friend and telling them what you’re going through can help you get through stressful moments. This friend could be LGBTQ+, or they could be an ally. What’s important is that they:

  • Affirm your sexuality and gender

  • Listen to your experiences

  • Ask helpful questions and are curious to learn more

  • Respect your boundaries

  • Make you feel comfortable and supported

  • Honor your differences

If your friends are not doing these things, they may not be the best people to support you to be your best self.

Find a therapist or mental health professional you trust

Going to therapy can help you work through negative thoughts, trauma, or mental health symptoms that may emerge as your explore who you are. It’s helpful to have someone to talk to who isn’t a friend or a family member.

Finding a therapist you can connect with is essential. Here are some things to look for in a therapist or counselor:

  • Empathetic listener

  • Affirms your LGBTQ+ identity

  • Understand other aspects of your identity (like race, ethnicity, religion, class, etc)

  • Makes you feel heard

  • Asks questions that make you think deeply about your life and experience

  • Someone who you instinctively trust

Sometimes it’s hard to find a therapist or counselor you connect with on the first try. Be patient and keep trying until you find the right match. To help you get started, them.us, has a great resource guide for finding a queer therapist.

Join a support group

Connecting with your local LGBT Center or joining an online LGBTQ+ support group like Q Chat Space can help you feel less alone in your experience. Support groups can also help you connect with other queer and trans people in your area who you might not otherwise meet.

Here are some things to look for in a support group:

  • A group where you feel excited to go

  • A group that is related to a specific identity you need support for.

  • A group that feels like a safe place to share your stress

  • A group where you feel like you have something in common with most of the members

If you’re uncertain about whether a group is a good fit, you can always talk to the leader or someone who is part of the group before attending.

What to do next

Keep going

Join Q Chat Space

Are you an LGBTQ+ teen? Join one of our many moderated chats at Q Chat Space, where you can talk to other LGBTQ+ teens and trained facilitators.