Coping with stress through distraction
Jeff, they/he, 23, NJ
Intense negative feelings like shame, guilt, fear, and anger, donāt last forever. They wash over you like waves--sometimes feeling more intense and sometimes less intense.
When bad feelings are really intense, or you are in a moment of crisis, it's like being at the top of a really big wave. One way to deal with a crisis is to distract yourself so that you can pass over the peak of the wave and come to a lower, calmer place where the emotions are less intense.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT (just a fancy name for a particular kind of therapy!), has some skills for dealing with what we are feeling when we're at the top of our emotional wave. Weāll use the acronym ACCEPTS to learn these skills.
Click one to explore, or scroll through to see them all:
Activities
A is for activities that require focus. Doing something else helps take your attention away from overwhelming emotions.
Pick which activity would work best for you:
Fold laundry
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Go for a walk
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Play a game
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Clean your room
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Contributing
C is for contributing-- helping someone other than yourself.
Pick which activity would work best for you:
Text a friend
Run an errand for someone
Write a thank you note
Comparisons
C is for comparisons. What we mean by this is put your situation into context: There have likely been some tough moments you have made it through before this one and there will be easier times in your future.
Pick which activity would work best for you:
Revisit a specific memory of how you got through a tough situation in the past -- How did you feel during that time? What did you do to move through those emotions?
Journal about a time in the future where you know you will feel some positive emotions -- Five years from now what are some of the joyful experiences you will have? What will you feel during those experiences?
Emotions
E is for EMOTIONS. Do something that you know will spark a positive emotional response.
Pick which activity would work best for you:
Watch a funny movie or tv show, listen to upbeat music, read comics, watch your favorite TikTok influencer
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Pushing it away
P is for pushing it away. Build an imaginary wall between you and the situation so you can feel some immediate relief.
Choose a phrase to help push it away:
Iām going to put those feelings away for a different time
I protect my peace
I am safe on this side of the wall
Thoughts
T is for thoughts. When we are having intense emotions, a good way to pull out of the spiral is to do activities that activate your logical brain.
You could:
Count backwards from 10, play a video game, google a topic you want to learn more about, watch a Youtube video about a complicated topic
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Sensation
S is for sensation. Getting your body to feel a different sensation can be another way to distract yourself from intense emotions.
You could:
Hold an ice cube in your hand, put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it against your skin, squeeze a rubber ball really hard
What to do next
Join Q Chat Space
Are you an LGBTQ+ teen? Join one of our many moderated chats at Q Chat Space, where you can talk to other LGBTQ+ teens and trained facilitators.
